About my ex, Rey Tela

2 Apr


Last September1

(That’s right! We were officially together – in front of me anyway – from September 16, 2007 to December 28, 2007. Three stressful months!)

A false note-

Too low and yet

Not high enough.

A quicksand of kisses-

Not a fiber of tenderness

Not a morsel of truth

A flood of tears-

Sudden like thunder

No warning in the wind

A hand to hold-

Never a declaration

Love is the loudest sound-

A song, so deafening,

So woundingly beautiful, and

Its ending – never heard

Lies – cut like a rusty blade

Now there is poison in every

Memory we ever made

On the bedside drawer

A lover’s last letter

Farewell – unopened for years

Secrets and Lies1

“How do you hide the truth? Secrets, like sweat – get secreted.”

“Lies are endless justifications about who, what, when, where, and why because it never existed to begin with. Truth is infinitely easier to tell. Truth stands alone but a single lie needs an army of lies to defend itself.”

There is still the pain that comes from finally (finally!) knowing the truth. But I cannot cry anymore. Why should I cry for someone as foul as you?


“Living in this century should expose us to the soulless. And yet far worse than someone without a soul is having one so foul.”

You knew that, deep inside, you have a dark and rotten soul. You were so insecure when we were together. It’s because you knew that you did not deserve even half of what we, all the women you caused such pain, could give.

No Karma?1

“How easy it is for hypocrites to commit unspeakable crimes, apologize, pay lip service, seek redemption, and walk away as if nothing ever happened. Victims carry scars they cannot forget.”

The only mistake we women had made was falling for the illusion that you created and being blind to the truth even if your true foul colors were slowly being revealed. You’re not a typical playboy. You are an ego-seeking freak and a pathological liar! YOU MESSED WITH OUR HEADS. You made us fall for you with your innocent veneer and played us against each other with your lies. You told your ex –girlfriend that we already broke up last November 2007. You got back together with her but in front of me (in person!) I was still your girlfriend. You still said, “Baby, I love you.” to me. You still spent time with me. You kept on lying and this setup continued until we broke up for real last December 28, 2007.

After abusing her (financially – you pretended that you bought the digital camera that she actually gave you, emotionally, physically), you dumped the woman who is having your child. You want only her child???!!!

“Anyone can be a dad. But it takes a man to be a father.”

You’re no man. You have the mind of an insolent little boy. You can’t be a good father. You’re a weakling!!!

You made a second Friendster profile and told her that I was able to access your old profile. You also lied that I was the one who uploaded our pictures there but all of that isn’t true. I only knew your e-mail address but not your password (and I never tried to figure it out) so I never tampered with your profile.

You made us hate each other when you actually hated us. But now, I have forgiven her. I can understand her situation. I don’t know if I’ll ever have forgiveness for you. We can never be friends. I cannot stand traitors.

You didn’t have the guts to abuse me because you were afraid of me. You’re such a coward. I am smaller than you and you are stronger. But if you struck me, you knew I would strike back and I could really hurt you. You knew that I trained in martial arts.


Reality is the moment unfolding and everything after that is merely a story of a story of a story. There is more damage in a half-truth. Better to make an enemy of lies and prejudice, to shoot the message, not the messenger.”

Gossiper!!! You have so many secrets but I couldn’t entrust you with mine. Yes, you were not the first to get to me. I was molested by our neighbor when I was a child. But I’m not ashamed because that happened when I was still an innocent.


“This is hypocrisy: when we remember to point a finger but forget to look into a mirror.”

Oh, you think you’re Mr. Perfect!!! Well, I’ll give you a reality check:

1. You’re not that good looking. You’re just tall, dark, and “ahem!”

2. Yes, you have a job but it doesn’t pay much. And you have to distribute your meager funds between your girlfriends.

3. You’re not that smart.


5. YOU’RE NOT THAT BIG. (Come on! You know what I mean.)

Yes, I did say once that you were perfect. But, did you really know what I meant by that? The only thing that is perfect about you is your body that you use to conquer every woman that you desire! But after you’re through with us, you dispose of us as if we were trash.

My bad temper served me well in the end. My rage made me start seeing you for who you really are. You have no sense of respect or consideration whatsoever. There is an underlying misogyny in your character.

MISOGYNY – Look it up in the dictionary, will you? That isn’t too hard for you, is it?

Truth and Rage1

The truth is a very powerful tool; a weapon of unlimited force, speed and magnitude. All truth is power. Through it, I believe that God reveals Himself and puts every man and all things created in their proper place and time, whether it be revealed in currents swift and slow. All of life leads us to the truth and all truths lead us back to God just as all rivers flow into the sea.”

Do you remember this SMS message that I sent you?

“Between love and truth, hold on to the truth because love cannot last without it. Anger, rage, desire, passion, and jealousy may disappear but the truth lasts for all time.”1

It’s about true love. And you had the gall to ask me, “What is true love?” Why don’t you answer that, “Mr. Perfect”???!!!

“True love does not encompass infidelity.”

“Love is an emotion that is contra natura.”2

By nature, by his own animalistic desires, a man cannot be faithful to one. It is embedded in his genes to spread his sperm. A man who can love truly is a man who can be faithful. Quit the cynicism! In real life, there are men like those. Of course, there are men who say that “Be a bitch in bed and we won’t stray.” Men really can’t live without women. But there are also men who are egomaniacs, JUST LIKE YOU, driven by the insatiable need to seduce, wound, and collect hearts and bodies.

You call that LOVE???!!! Your definition of love is so shallow. What you call love is actually just lust or shallow emotions of grandeur when you conquer us. But for as long as we leave even a little something for ourselves, we can set ourselves free from your grasp.

You have such an innocent face! But when I was crying in front of you, you suddenly smiled. At that moment, I knew that you were a wolf in sheep’s clothing – a demon.

Your nice but fake upper teeth have fangs similar to those of vampires. If we stick around for too long, we might have no blood left!!! It’s a good thing we were never meant to be. Since the last time we talked to each other, I felt as if a big thorn was pulled out of my heart. Let that playgirl have you!!! But, all those nice girls out there,



And because plagiarism is a crime:

1. 1. Prose and Poetry by S. S. Raros. 2000-2007. Heartbeat City. ANT MPS

2. 2. Gabriel Garcia Marquez


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